From friendship to courtship to marriage, my relationship with my husband John was riddled with geek events and bonds that proved long before we got our acts together that we were meant to be.

Somehow, through many obstacles and several missed opportunities, everything worked out for us, proving that geeks can find love, and yes, it is worth waiting for someone who actually wants to play that video game with you, or watch that anime, or reminisce about the injustice of Firefly being cancelled.

Let me tell you our rather ridiculous, geek-ridden tale.
 

Freshmen Year

My husband and I met in college, both freshmen, living in the same dorm, with a few of the same classes and many of the same friends. We had Japanese together and were both a part of Anime Club, though I will admit he went much more regularly than me. I can remember a specific night very well when John invited a few of us to watch Samurai X in his room, and it was really only me, him, and our friend Katie. Thinking back on that night, I can remember already having a deep fondness for John, though it would not be until much later that I realized this.

I had a boyfriend at the time, you see, a remnant from high school that was younger than me and still finishing up his senior year while I was already away at college. My mistake. And a much longer tale to tell. But from day one, John and I were destined to miss each other, one of us dating while the other was single, or being unaware of our mutual single status whenever it actually happened. Still, there was definitely attraction for both of us from year one now that we can look back objectively.

You see, we went to a small liberal arts college in Minnesota, and because the dorms were coed but split up by floor—all boys or all girls—the different corridors would plan get-togethers we called “Screws”. Yeah, they didn’t even try leaving anything up to the imagination with that one, did they?

For some reason my corridor just never ended up having a Screw with John’s, so one weekend we planned our own. John set up his PlayStation 2 in our upstairs lounge for a pizza and DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) party. By the end of the night, only the two of us were left still enjoying the geeky fun.

You would think that would have given us a hint. But no. We were oblivious. And no, we did not get together the end of that year, or the next. This story gets far more complicated before everything works out.
 

Sophomore Year

At the beginning of sophomore year I was going with a friend to the movies on Friday night. Our college had a special deal with one of the theaters, so we had a bus and cheaper tickets. It was awesome. I let my friend decide on the movie, so we were on our way to Vanity Fair (if you haven’t seen it, DON’T).

John was on the bus that night as well, going to see a movie alone, which turned out to be Resident Evil: Apocalypse. I wanted to switch films so badly, but my friend was anti-scary movie in every possible way, so it was a definite no. I spent the whole ride back to campus listening to how awesome Resident Evil had been, wishing I had gone with John instead.

This still wasn’t a big enough clue for us.

We continued our friendship, with occasional flirting, but John was under the impression that I was still dating my high school boyfriend, and being a gentleman, he tried to keep me out of his mind. Then came the China/Japan trip.

I was a part of a special program at school called Asian Conversations, great for Asian Studies majors, which I was, and the trip was the final hurrah for the sequence of classes—two weeks in China, two weeks in Japan.

John was not in the program but managed to wrangle his way into the trip too.

John claims he was unaware at the time, but on this trip almost every single one of our female friends wanted to date him before the end, myself included. In fact, I know now that the trip was when I fell in love with him. There were days that John was the only man among women. I even have pictures of just the two of us that makes it look like we must have been dating already by this point. But nope. Unfortunately for me, I was beaten to the punch. Twice.

One of our friends who had a boyfriend back home went in one night and asked John out, to which he declined, being such a gentleman and knowing she was better off with her current man. But that same night another of our friends went in, wanting to date John as well, and this time he agreed. I didn’t find out about this until we got back to the States for second semester, but I was forced to admit defeat, believing I had missed my chance.
 

Junior Year

John and that particular friend were broken up by the end of the semester, but I was bound for England the beginning of junior year and wouldn’t see John again until the next January. By then I had lost about five pounds, grew my hair and dyed it black, and came back looking pretty damn good, if I may say. John agreed with me, and we were back for the next round of not quite getting it, only this time I was the oblivious one.

While John tried to lure me to his room with promises of watching him play Shadow Hearts Covenant—god, did that man know me already—I was being a good little student and for whatever reason didn’t get his hints.

After years of missed signals and the disasters of dating other people, we were both single, and once I screwed my head on straight, our flirting finally matched up, we realized we had our chance, and…John was scheduled to leave for Japan in only a few weeks.

Yeah. I know.

The Japanese schedule is very different from ours, so John would be leaving in the middle of second semester and I wouldn’t see him again until senior year.

That didn’t stop our flirting, however, and at the anime convention that year, Anime Detour, with me dressed as Advent Children Tifa—a character both of us love dearly—we at last had our chance to come clean and admit we liked each other as more than just friends.

We had had a couple drinks, we were alone, and were scrambling off together to the dance. Intimately close on the dance floor, John whispered to me “You know, I could totally see us dating.” No hints or flirts or innuendos, just right there, plain as day.

And then our friends showed up. Seriously, this was a movie moment of epic interruptions.

“You know, I could totally see us dating.”

“Hey, guys!”

But all for the better, perhaps, since John was leaving that weekend for Japan, and it would have been awful to start a relationship we couldn’t even have for several months. So…nothing happened.

Both of us had a miserable summer that year—no surprise—spent mostly thinking about each other, but with minimal contact because, well, we were idiots. Luckily, two of my girlfriends were over in Japan with John, working in my favor, though I had no idea. He apparently couldn’t shut up about me and was driving them absolutely crazy. At one point he even got a Japanese fortune about me that said we were destined to get married in Europe—which didn’t happen, by the way—and have lots of sex and babies.

At least the fortune got some of that right.
 

Senior Year

But finally, since this story eventually has to have a happy ending, we were both in the States, both single, both wanted each other, and yet for some insane reason when we met up for the first time back at college again it just didn’t happen. We choked. We spent an awful week dancing around each other, not knowing what to do, assuming the other had lost interest. Our friends were beside themselves with frustration. I even tricked myself into believing that even if he did ask me out, I would be better off saying no. Thankfully, that’s not what happened.

It was September 11th, 2006. I had a friend visiting and had just come back from auditioning for the fall musical. I took off all my makeup, changed into sleep clothes, thinking it would be an ordinary night. John, busy downstairs driving him and his roommate crazy, finally was going to come upstairs and ask me out, but when he realized the date he had to wait two minutes so our anniversary wouldn’t be 9/11. At last, he came up, called me out, and that was it.

Obviously, I didn’t say no, and we kissed for the first time in my pod’s lounge, with chili lights twinkling above us. Oh, and that friend who was staying with me, who couldn’t help slipping out to pee while all of this was happening, managed to flush the toilet—which we could hear very clearly through the wall—just as that first kiss finally happened. I’ll never forget it.

Our first date was spent watching Grave of the Fireflies. Yes, we’re that stupid, and just as geeky as I’ve been saying. But again, at least it was memorable. We also watched anime, played video games, had DnD (Dungeons & Dragons) sessions together, and saw many awesome movies that year. But if we’re talking geeky, nothing beats the proposal.
 

Proposal, Wedding, and Beyond

John asked me to marry him on our seven month anniversary. No, that is not quick, because you’ll remember that we had known each other for almost four years by this point, and really should have started dating sooner. I had no idea what he was planning, only that we were going to have an evening in, just us. After playing a little Shadow Hearts Covenant, eating some pizza from Domino’s, and watching the original live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, he dropped to one knee and asked me. Nothing could have been more perfect.

As for the wedding, there was no way I was having anything mediocre. I remember discussing what we might do while driving up to see family one weekend, and the conversation went something like:

“I’ve always wanted a rainbow wedding.”

“Maybe we could do Ninja Turtles and Sailor Moon?”

Actual possibilities, folks.

Eventually, we decided that my bridesmaids would each be in a different color of the rainbow, but the outfits themselves would be based around the anime Berserk, John’s favorite, and with main characters that look quite a bit like us anyway.

You’ll notice that my boots are a combination of Caska’s from Berserk and Karin’s from Shadow Hearts Covenant, only in white leather. They were made especially for me by Setsuna & Haruka’s Anime Shoppe.

The rest I took many liberties on, focusing on a more knightly look than specifically Berserk, but Caska and Guts were our wedding toppers, and the cake was Red Velvet to symbolize what a bloody anime it is. Yeah, we’re that awesome.

My only regret is that our amazing wedding party did not get to do what they wanted as a surprise for us. They had asked the priest if they could play the Final Fantasy VII victory fanfare when we kissed at the end of the ceremony, but he refused. Instead, they all got up and sang it during our first kiss at the reception. Actually, I suppose that is just as wonderful.

Our wedding gift to ourselves? We spent all of our Target gift cards on a PS3.

Honeymoon? Many things, but we made a point of seeing The Dark Knight on opening night. And we watched the entire anime set to Daft Punk’s Discovery album. We’re geeks, no doubt about it, but that’s why we’re so wonderful together, now over a year of being married, and despite all of the crazy you just got to read about.

So have faith, fellow geek girls and guys. I honestly believe that everyone’s true counterpart finds them eventually. And believe me, it is worth the wait.

In honor of having watched the first episode of The Vampire Diaries, which was every bit as ridiculous as I expected, Monday will be dedicated to all the wonderful and horrible depictions of vampires on the small screen. Join me next time for “Vampires on TV”.

Thanks for tuning in.

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