Vampires on TV do not begin and end with me, sadly, so I have not had the pleasure of seeing every single vampire television show ever to grace (or disgrace) the small screen.

I have, however, seen an impressive amount of the many that existed and will be discussing those that I watched, as well as my opinion on why certain vampire shows sucked so badly—pun intended—and why others were quite entertaining.

Okay, so in my opinion, any vampire television show is going to have some level of entertainment to it, even if that is only to make fun of it. Why else would I bother watching the series premiere of The Vampire Diaries last Thursday, a blatant attempt by The CW to bank off the Twilight phenomenon, unless I was expecting horrible, horrible entertainment out of it?

As for my first vampire series, it began its run in 1992.
 

Forever Knight (1992-1996)

While I proudly admit that my first fictional crush was on Jonathan Brandis’ character Lucas from SeaQuest, Nick Knight was my first true love. Forever Knight was the first of its kind on TV, that story we are so used to now about a vampire wanting to change his ways and maybe one day become human again. A sympathetic vampire. In this case Nick moonlights as a detective who can only work the night shift due to an unfortunate skin condition.

I don’t tan. I don’t burn. I implode.

Of course this was all a cover and only a doctor who works directly with the police force knows Nick’s actual secret. Following Nick on cases, and finding ourselves torn between wanting him to end up romantically with the human doctor Natalie or with his vampire ex-wife Janette, Nick quests to become human again, tortured by his old existence, and haunted—physically—by his maker LaCroix. Accompanied also by his human and oblivious partner, Schanke (later replaced by a woman, which still upsets me today) Nick was what I consider the true beginning of vampires on television.

Yes, there was Dark Shadows in the 60s, a failed attempt to revive it in 1991, and a Dracula series that only lasted a season, but Forever Knight proved in modern day that a vampire television series could last.

It actually began as a television movie, Nick Knight, starring Rick Springfield instead of the TV regular that would replace him, Geraint Wyn Davies. It was also set in Toronto, which I think we can all admit rarely happens these days—why oh why does everything have to be set in New York?

Vampire lore in this one? Most of the usual. Sunlight is bad, they shy from crosses, they must drink blood, and Nick even has that nifty Dracula trick of luring and hypnotizing people, though there was always the chance that someone might be immune to it.

Proudly, Forever Knight has been named one of the top 25 cult TV shows of all time. And with good reason: it was an original idea. Yes, I know Anne Rice was already kicking around the Vampire Chronicles by this point, and really, there are so many places a show like Forever Knight might have gotten its inspiration, but it was the first of its kind on television and should be remembered well for that.

Watching episodes again now, over fifteen years later, there is a lot more camp and moments of bad acting than I remember, but it was a good show that filled a void I didn’t even know I had until I got my first taste of vampire television.
 

Kindred: the Embraced (1996)

Kindred began right where Forever Knight left off, and with some rather transparent similarities. The main vampire in Forever Knight, Nick Knight, had an ex vampire lover who ran a nightclub called “The Raven”. Kindred’s main vampire character, Julian Luna, had an ex vampire lover who ran a nightclub called “The Haven”. Seriously, right? But, as we all know, the copycats of Forever Knight only increase over time.

Based off of the White Wolf roleplaying game, Vampire: The Masquerade, Kindred was unique in that it gave us vampire clans, different types of vampires with different specialties in powers depending on their bloodline. This of course also created intrigue as some of the clans weren’t so fond of each other. These vampires could also go out in daylight, which is a unique trait, but only if they had fed the night before.

We get both an inside and outside view of the vampire world in this series, following Detective Frank Kohanek, played by C. Thomas Howell (yep, a detective again, only this time he’s human) as he tries to uncover the truth of the vampire prince of the city, and alleged mobster, Julian. Julian follows true with Forever Knight as he seems to long for humanity and is torn between a human reporter and his ex vampire lover, Lily.

In Kindred’s defense, it had a great timeslot, on right before (or maybe it was right after, I forget) X-Files. It was also an Aaron Spelling production, which made it something like Melrose Place combined with The Godfather, according to Sci Fi Weekly. At the time that might have made it television gold for many, and it definitely held promise.

Unfortunately, Kindred had a mid-season start and only lasted 8 episodes before it was cancelled. Even if it somehow had been resigned, Mark Frankel, who played Julian, was killed that summer. My heart still hangs heavily for him. But Kindred would not be easily forgotten, especially since several of its actors found their way onto episodes of Buffy and Angel.
 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2003)

I was very disheartened by Kindred’s cancellation, since it left that void again that could only be filled by vampires on TV. Having long before been a fan of the movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I was ecstatic when I saw the first previews for the new series flash by on my television. I’m pretty sure I freaked out my mother since I basically started jumping up and down on the couch. This began a long and fulfilling love affair.

What can I possibly say about Buffy? It is by far the most well-known vampire TV series of all time and probably always will be. Besides starting off as a wonderful vampire cult classic movie in 1992, also written by Joss Whedon who created the television series, Buffy began a revolution of female kick-ass characters that continues to dominate airwaves and films today. This has not always been a good thing, but we can thank Buffy for shows like Dark Angel, for Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil, and so much more.

For those who may not know, Buffy, played by Sarah Michelle Gellar (Kristy Swanson in the movie) is the chosen one, one lone girl destined to face the forces of evil until her death, and bequeathed great power in order to do so. While vampires are often on the menu, they are far from the only creatures Buffy faces throughout the series.

With her ragtag team of friends they face Armageddon time and time again, but always come out on top with a few awesome puns thrown in for good measure.

Buffy vampires are soulless, products of demons that have distorted faces and yellow eyes in their true forms. This certainly made the vampires on Buffy unique to most of the others we had seen that usually only had fierce or colored eyes, without any aspect of demon.

What also made Buffy unique, besides taking what would usually be the character who runs away screaming in horror films and making her the hero, was its humor. Joss Whedon is a brilliant writer, with stellar wit. Firefly anyone? Buffy wasn’t about being scary, it was about fun, but that didn’t stop it from covering some very heavy issues and getting at the heart of humanity while it was at it.

Most notably, the character of Willow discovering her love for another female character, Tara, gave primetime television one of its first heroic homosexual characters, and Willow and Tara remain one of the most memorable and loving gay couples ever to grace TV.

Joss Whedon may piss me off on occasion, but he is a pioneer.
 

Angel (1999 – 2004)

Angel was originally a character on Buffy, a brooding vampire with a soul and the only one not on Buffy’s to-stake list. He left the series at the end of season 3 after several failed relationship attempts with Buffy to start his own spin-off series that actually managed quite well.

Instead of being set in small town Sunnydale, CA, Angel was fighting off evil in the City of Angels, Los Angeles. Bringing with him other Buffy characters Cordelia and eventually Wesley, Angel, following the usual vampires on TV trend, started a quest to become human again and redeem his soul.

Not very original, but at least it had Joss Whedon’s sense of humor.

It can be said that Joss seems to give the good parts, and powers, to his female characters, but Angel not only gave us the powerful vampire with a soul character, but also Angel’s son Connor, with a unique birth that basically bestowed upon him the same powers as a Slayer. Angel also managed to rip out fans hearts quite often, as Joss is so well known for, but ended on an unfinished note in my opinion, with Angel and what was left of his crew about to face dire odds in yet another coming apocalypse.

Angel may have been just another brooding vampire like the ones before him. He even had that whole torn between the human girl he wants to be with and his crazy ex vampire lover thing going on. But because of the writing of the show and the unique challenge of the obstacles Angel faced, he still remains at the top of my list for favorite vampire characters of all time.
 

Moonlight (2007)

There was a bit of a vampires on TV hiatus for me after Angel, as I was in college and just didn’t watch much TV. But from what I have heard of the Blade failure, this was not necessarily a bad thing. Blade should stick to Wesley Snipes and movies. Blood Ties, that also came about after Angel, I cannot even comment on because it was simply a series I missed. For me, the next vampire show was Moonlight.

Now, I only started watching Moonlight because it was a new vampire series and I had missed having that as a part of my life. I knew going in that this was going to be a bad show. My first clew was in the rip-offs from the older series like Forever Knight and Kindred.

Instead of being Nick Knight the main character is Mick St. John. And guess what folks, he is a brooding vampire who longs for humanity. Will anyone ever come up with a new way to tell vampire tales? He is also a private investigator, similar to Nick moonlighting (oh, that’s really funny now) as a detective. Like Julian in Kindred, Mick has a thing for a human female reporter, but, and this should come as no surprise, his ex vampire lover is also after him.

The series only lasted a season and was mocked the entire time it was on the air. The acting was atrocious, Alex O’Loughlin who played Mick was always in these tight shirts that did nothing for his figure, and the vamp effects weren’t all that special. It did take a new approach on sunlight, as vampires could go out in the day, but direct sunlight was bad for them and would over time take a toll.

Its true fault was simply bad writing and a dated concept. We had seen it all before. It still managed to wrangle up a pretty good fangirl following, but really, how hard is that?
 

True Blood (2008 – )

And then came True Blood. Now, to defend the Anita Blake series by Laurell K. Hamilton, the books that inspired the True Blood series are very much like Hamilton’s books that came earlier. Set in the south. Centered around sex. The main character is female with special powers that make the vampires really want her. Anita Blake came into being long before Sookie Stackhouse, but True Blood was the one picked up by HBO.

I like this series. A lot. If you know the books then you already know how different the series is from the written word, but for the better, I think. Yes, there is still a broody vampire character, like always, but I wouldn’t say Bill is on any quest to become human. The show is funny, adult, and doesn’t try to hide that the vampire teeth are a little hookey.

What really makes the show interesting is its original story. (again, see Anita Blake for why it ISN’T, but it is original for vampires on TV). Vampires are among us and we know it, so vampires not only have rights protected by law, but can be among us peacefully due to the creation of Tru Blood, a synthetic blood substitute. Of course, this does not stop certain vampires from continuing to feed off of humans, some with permission, some not so much.

These are classic vampires, otherwise—no sun, drink blood, super strong. On the other end, drinking vampire blood is a cure-all, and also a huge high for humans dealing in the trade, which is illegal and can obviously come with some deadly penalties.

This is also a world of more than just vampires. There are shapeshifters, witches, and there is the potential for much more as the series progresses. There is also the main character, Sookie, who can read minds, and often not without trying. The vampires are intrigued by her, many males in this series are, in fact. In a small Louisiana town, she becomes one of the few vampire supporters.

Every episode ends with enough of a cliffhanger that you cannot wait to get to the next one, the biggest being the season finale. And rightfully so, since the book series is called the Southern Vampire Mysteries. And oh the twists. My favorite character is actually Sookie’s brother Jason, who is the most frustrating lovable doop ever created. Just when you think you can like him again, he pisses you off, which is only one example of how you cannot help getting sucked into this story, the characters, and their lives.

I hope for a long ride out of this one as it continues with its second season, now airing.
 

The Vampire Diaries (2009 – )

So this new series has only had one episode so far, and I think that first episode basically colored what the entire show is going to be like. Crap.

Here again we have a vampire character who is broody and wants to be redeemed, maybe find humanity. SEEN IT. Combine that with the 90210 background of high school twits, romances, the sad backstory of the girl who lost her parents recently and needs to write in her diary to get by, and you’ve already lost me. Of course, it is really the vampire writing in his journal with the same vapidness that makes me gag, as well as doubt that he is hundreds of years old like he is supposed to be. This is basically Twilight for those who have nothing better to do while waiting between movies. Pointless, bad writing, and I’m sure strangely addicting for those same idiots who moon over Edward Cullen.

Damn, that probably means this series won’t die as quickly as I am hoping. Well, maybe it will get better. The older brother character, the evil vampire in this tale, apparently, is the most fully dimensional character so far, and might prove interesting. The main girl also has a younger brother who could have potential, and I do like that more is going on than just, hey, there are vampires. Sadly, that may just mean this is another Melrose Place…but with vampires. We shall see.
 

Conclusion

There have been many vampires on TV, and quite a few of them were lame. Even more of them followed the same formula of brooding vampire seeking redemption, torn between a human girl and an old vampire lover. But vampires will always have their place on the small screen. Wading through the crap is worth it to get to the Buffys and the True Bloods.

All I ask, future vampire TV series writers, is that you stay away from the brooding vampire storyline. As should be painfully apparent after reading this, it has been done to death.

Friday I get back to comics with “Why Feminists Suck” or “Why It’s Okay To Like Comic Book Women”. Please check it out.

Thanks for tuning in.

Images taken from:
http://channel2.typepad.com/uvu/2009/06/vampires-in-south-florida.html
http://childoftelevision.blogspot.com/2007/10/never-judge-show-by-its-pilot-moonlight.html
http://www.hulu.com/forever-knight
http://scifiontv.wikia.com/wiki/Kindred:_The_Embraced
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,422783,00.html
http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/incandescent-vampires/question-571729/
http://thetwocentscorp.wordpress.com/2009/03/01/thetwocents-true-blood-archives/
http://lodim.wordpress.com/tag/tv-series/
http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=264125

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